Grandma Bigler was the quintessential grandmother; she looked the part, and when she spoke she sounded like a loving grandma with a sweet and sincere voice filled with wisdom, love, concern, and experience all rolled into one. Having lived in the small town of Heber, AZ for nearly her entire life, she was a well known member of the community and was referred to as Aunt Vera, whether she was a relative or not. Heber was small enough that there was a pretty good chance that she WAS your relative aunt though. She had been a widow since Grandpa Laureld Bigler passed away in November of 1996, and she had mentioned more than a couple times in her final years how she missed him and was ready to be with him in heaven.
The last couple years of her life were spent living with Uncle Cleon and his wife Penny in Washington state. She missed her Heber home, but they were able to watch over her as she bravely faced the physical challenges of knee surgery and breast cancer and other ailments. I got to see her at the Bigler reunion in Snowflake, AZ in 2009, and it was nice to sit and talk with her, hold her hand, and share some stories and laughs. She was very weak and that sweet voice was so quiet. I had to concentrate really hard to understand what she was saying. We said our goodbyes that day. She went back up to Washington after the reunion for a short time. Her health began to fade and she really wanted to return to Heber, so Cleon and Penny brought her back to Heber to live out her days. These days were shorter than most had thought, for once she was made the journey back to her beloved mountain home, her time had come to return to her heavenly home. She was ready.
A call came and we were told that she would soon pass away. Loved ones were gathering in Heber to say their goodbyes. My brother Spencer and I talked about how we had basically already said our goodbyes to Grandma at the reunion, but for some reason we thought it was important to go anyway, and we decided to make the trip up north from Phoenix to Heber. Jenny also made the trip with her kids.
When Spencer and I arrived, all of Grandma's children were there save for Aunt Laura, who was hurrying to arrive from Colorado. Grandma, herself, was resting deeply in the front room. Her health had completely left her and at that time was moments away from passing on. I sat next to her and held her hand and once again said a tearful goodbye, gave her my love, and thanked her for all she had done for me, my Dad, and my brothers and sisters. She did not wake but kept resting. In the other room we all sat and reminisced, shared stories, and made arrangements as to what needed to happen after she passed. A funeral program was drafted and assignments made.
We then felt the time was very near and we wanted to give Grandma a final Priesthood blessing before she died. We wanted to wait for Laura to arrive, but time was very short. Uncle Keith was given the honor and proceeded to pronounce a final Priesthood blessing on his mother, our grandmother. What transpired during that blessing will forever be kept in my heart as one of the greatest spiritual experiences of my life. He relayed to her the love of the Savior toward her, His delight in her tireless lifelong service, the incredible heritage she established for her posterity, among other great blessings. He then told her that it was OK to move on, that is was OK for her to go and blessed her to be at peace and be able to move on; and IMMEDIATELY following this pronouncement, Vera Porter Bigler let out her final breath, bidding farewell to this mortal life and beginning her eternal life hereafter. It is difficult to describe the incredible feeling in the room at that time. I can only witness that there are moments when the veil between this mortal realm and the spirit world is so very thin. There were many others with us in that room that day - familiar relative spirits, angels, joining us in our farewell... or more accurately... gathering for a joyful homecoming to welcome home the matriarch on the other side.
Following the blessing and this very powerful event we all embraced and shared the moment with tears of awe and gratitude. Spencer, Jenny and I shared a special moment and embraced as well. We then made the call to Kenny in Indiana to let him know, and recounted the experience with him. Aunt Laura arrived about an hour after Grandma passed away, but she was able to spend some moments next to her and we were able to grieve alongside her.
The funeral was that Saturday. The company Jenny worked for owns a wonderful cabin in the nearby community of Overgaard where we stayed that weekend. With so much extended family in town for the funeral, it was nice to have an additional place to stay.
At the church, the entire family gathered in a room outside of the chapel, and what a sight that was! Standing room only practically. Grandma's posterity had filled the room to overflowing, and there was many a happy reunion despite the occasion. Uncle Keith was able to say a few words and convey in all soberness and love the events that transpired earlier in the week. That same Spirit from that day returned to the room in which we were now all gathered, and we knew we felt blessed to be counted among her descendants.
The program was simple and beautiful. They asked Jenny to say a few words and she did a fantastic job. Our cousin Alissa also gave an emotional talk. Grandma was an accomplished pianist and accompanist. A year or two prior it was arranged for her to go to a recording studio and capture her craft as she played some of her favorite songs and hymns. The resulting CD was given as a gift to her posterity that same Christmas. During Alissa's words, she referenced the CD and played an excerpt: "God Be With Til We Meet Again". Grandma's spirit filled the chapel as her music spoke for her, bidding us all farewell for now. The chords resonated within the hearts of all who knew and loved her, and the tears came. What a wonderful spirit there was there in that moment. If someone were to have the ability to say goodbye and bear their testimony at their OWN funeral, then that was about as close as one could get.
Grandma always enjoyed having Spencer and I sing - whether we enjoyed it or not - and the invitation was extended once again, to which we were honored to accept, and Martha accompanied us as we sang the hymn "Nearer, My God, to Thee". I enjoy singing with my brother, who has an incredible voice. We did our best to make Grandma proud, but emotions did get the best of us at the end of the last verse after we sang the words, "Angels to beckon me nearer, my God, to Thee" and our thoughts remembered the angels that arrived to beckon our Grandma home to God earlier that week.
We laid her to rest at her husband's side in the Heber cemetery. The graveside dedication service was beautiful, and we visited with loved ones for awhile before leaving the site; but not before saying hello to our dad and sister, and our niece and cousin buried nearby in the same mountainside cemetery.
Later on we cleaned up the cabin and stopped by Casa Ramos, a favorite Mexican restaurant, to eat before leaving for Phoenix after a special and memorable day and week. And we happened to see Aunt Laura and her family there and said are goodbyes as we all prepared to return to our distant homes. I always found it fascinating that, even with the very large number of Grandma's descendants, the bond among them all is very strong throughout.
I wrote the poem below on Easter Sunday of last year as my mind was on the Easter theme of resurrection and on memories of the dearly departed. I was reflecting on Grandma Bigler's last hours and the miracles we witnessed that week, from her passing in her front room guided by Priesthood power, with dearly departed angel ancestors all around us. What an incredible experience that was! It was truly a special week that I will remember always. The more we spoke to family and friends at that time, the more people witnessed of strange and wonderful experiences that week... a gathering of family on both sides of the veil to bid her farewell on our side and to welcome her home on the other. I may share some of those experiences and stories at a later date. It was a very special week.
"Vera"
by Preston Bigler
(Easter Sunday 4/4/2010, Mesa, AZ)
an aged vessel, years caressed
a final breath from a tired chest
and 'midst the strength of Priesthood blessed
ancestors beckoned you to rest
and welcomed home the matriarch
sons and daughters gathered in
ten from you,'hundred eight from them
bade you farewell with friends and kin
and share that love you shared with them
the legacy of the matriarch
laid to rest 'neath towering pine
upon the peaceful mountainside
loving sons resting nearby
in welcomed spot at husband's side
lays the loving matriarch
and angel choirs sing refrains
of blessings giv'n to faithful saints
of glories to the Savior's name
their voices sound the hymns of praise
accompanied by the matriarch and every time I hear the hymn,
"God Be With You til We Meet Again"
I'll think of you and smile within
and hear your witness born therein
the witness of the matriarch
and long for that time we meet again
dear friend, mother, matriarch
